With no intended disrespect for the actual D-Day, my D-Day, of sorts, is tomorrow, Monday July 12, 2021. It’s the day I will begin presenting full-time as my true self, including at work. For me it’s a big day, and I’m incredibly anxious about it… have been since Friday when I made the final decision that Monday would be the day. I’ve spent the weekend making preparations: (1) composed and sent off an email to all of my colleagues and the students explaining what to expect; (2) did a little bit of shopping (purchased a few more work-essential clothing items, as well as a more gender-appropriate tote bag for my laptop and other things I typically take with me to and from work; (3) washed my wig; (4) practiced a little makeup application; (5) picked out an outfit. Even with all of that, I’m still nervous. It’s a big step.
In many ways, I’m feeling like a kid on the night before starting at a new school. That is to say, vulnerable. What will they think? What will they say? Will I be accepted? Will I thrive? All sorts of things running through my head tonight. Unlike a kid stating at a new school, however, I at least have the comfort of knowing my colleagues already as well as the lay of the land. And, regarding item #1 above, I have already received a few very affirming emails in response to the message I sent out earlier today. One of the emails I received from a student was, in fact, particularly encouraging:
“I hope this email finds you well. I just wanted to let you know that your email has touched me so much! Your courage to not only be your authentic self, but to also address it so publicly is both inspiring and heartwarming. I’m sure I speak for many of my fellow classmates when I say thank you so much for sharing and for inspiring us all. I am so happy for you!”
I will consider myself truly fortunate and blessed if tomorrow goes smoothly. I know it’s just another step forward in my journey, but for me, it’s a very big one. I have worked hard to get where I am professionally, and in many ways my work has defined me for years. Although I am now making room in my life for more significant personal growth, my career is still incredibly important to me, and I would never want to jeopardize it. I would have never predicted that I could have both—a rewarding, prosperous career and the freedom to be my authentic self—but I’m making that happen, and it’s both liberating and terrifying.
Tomorrow I will be channeling one of my favorite Meryl Streep characters, Miranda Priestly from “The Devil Wears Prada.” Not in a mean, bitchy, impossibly-demanding-boss kind of way (because THAT is not me at all!), but more for her confidence and style. As my dear Aunt Bonnie would say, “quiet elegance.”
In many ways, I’m feeling like a kid on the night before starting at a new school. That is to say, vulnerable. What will they think? What will they say? Will I be accepted? Will I thrive? All sorts of things running through my head tonight. Unlike a kid stating at a new school, however, I at least have the comfort of knowing my colleagues already as well as the lay of the land. And, regarding item #1 above, I have already received a few very affirming emails in response to the message I sent out earlier today. One of the emails I received from a student was, in fact, particularly encouraging:
“I hope this email finds you well. I just wanted to let you know that your email has touched me so much! Your courage to not only be your authentic self, but to also address it so publicly is both inspiring and heartwarming. I’m sure I speak for many of my fellow classmates when I say thank you so much for sharing and for inspiring us all. I am so happy for you!”
I will consider myself truly fortunate and blessed if tomorrow goes smoothly. I know it’s just another step forward in my journey, but for me, it’s a very big one. I have worked hard to get where I am professionally, and in many ways my work has defined me for years. Although I am now making room in my life for more significant personal growth, my career is still incredibly important to me, and I would never want to jeopardize it. I would have never predicted that I could have both—a rewarding, prosperous career and the freedom to be my authentic self—but I’m making that happen, and it’s both liberating and terrifying.
Tomorrow I will be channeling one of my favorite Meryl Streep characters, Miranda Priestly from “The Devil Wears Prada.” Not in a mean, bitchy, impossibly-demanding-boss kind of way (because THAT is not me at all!), but more for her confidence and style. As my dear Aunt Bonnie would say, “quiet elegance.”
To be continued...
To be continued…
Comments
Post a Comment