Two Fat Ladies

No, no, not those two fat ladies, though I did love this show back in the day.  The ladies I’m referring to taught me a quiet lesson the other night about not making assumptions about what other people are thinking.  It was Friday evening, the end of a very long day, and Eric and I were at a local restaurant for dinner.  It was a beautiful evening, as is so often the case in Southern California, so we were sitting outside in the back of this restaurant.  

As we enjoyed our cocktails and waited for our dinners to arrive, we noticed two rather over-weight young women doing wind-sprints in the parking lot under the supervision of, apparently, a physical trainer.  It was an unusual thing to see in the parking lot of a restaurant, which definitely caught my eye—mostly because I admired these two young women, and thought “wow, they’re making a huge effort towards their physical health and well-being (good for them!), as I sit here and sip my martini.” 

I must have been staring, lost in my own thoughts, because at some point, one of the young women uttered under her breath, something to the effect of “God, stop staring.”  Honestly, I didn’t even realize I was staring, and I certainly wasn't doing so in a judgmental or derogatory way, though I understand why she thought I was.  Ah-ha moment:  sometimes people stare because something just strikes them as out of the ordinary, or they’re just seeing something that they really admire and think is really cool—it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re judging or having a negative reaction.  

I’m an introvert and hate being the center of attention or on display, but I find myself reluctantly in that position frequently these days.  Accordingly, I need to remind myself that just because people look twice, stare, or maybe even give me a funny look, it doesn’t mean they’re judging or having a negative reaction.  No doubt some are, but likely most are not.  Perhaps the best thing for me to do is assume, for most people, positive intent, and just smile and move on.  

We all have our demons, and no one really knows what anyone else is thinking, feeling, or experiencing.  I’m sending a psychic “thank you” to the two lovely ladies I observed in the parking lot the other night who helped me realize this most basic but important life lesson, as well as an apology for unintentionally making their journey more challenging.