A Moment in Time


In an effort to be more mindful in the present and appreciative of all my blessings, I’m dedicating this post to a simple snapshot in time, a documentation of where I’m at physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, 
right now, in the early afternoon of Wednesday September 29, 2021.

First off, it’s an absolutely beautiful early-autumn day in Long Beach, CA.  I’m sitting at the table on the patio of our backyard.  It’s a comfortable 73 °F with a slightly cloudy but sunny sky and gentle breeze.  I’m taking a little break from working (remotely) to write this blog entry.  Physically, I feel good, especially given that I’m still recovering from neck surgery.  I’m wearing my neck brace again because Dr. Verma instructed me to do so during our post-op appointment earlier this morning.  I’m also wearing my favorite long-sleeve, black-and-white striped tee-shirt, jeans, my brown turban, and my favorite Vince Camuto sandals.  I’m feeling grateful that I’m as mobile as I am and that I’m experiencing minimal pain.  I was even able to go for a 30-minute walk yesterday morning, which was wonderful.  But, getting back to the right-here/right-now, I’m physically very comfortable.

 

Mentally, I am also doing well.  I’m feeling sharp and pretty focused, but also contemplative and reflective.  I’ve been keeping on top of things at work, dealing with tasks as they come up, and not letting anything get me too stressed or riled.  Emotionally I am content but a little bit restless and I am not sure why, exactly.  Or, perhaps my restlessness is more spiritual?  I don’t know.  As I think about it now, though, it may be a combination of things or a residual effect of slowing down my pace after months and months of racing.  It’s not a bad thing… just something I’m feeling in the here and now.  

 

Moving beyond just the absolute present, to more of just a current state of things in my life in general, here’s a list of things I’m currently engaged in to complete this snapshot in time:

 

·      Listening mostly to Johnnyswim’s “Diamonds” and Noah Reid’s “Songs from a Broken Chair.”  Both albums are sort of introspective and melancholy and sometimes bring me to tears.

·      Reading “Man Crazy” by Joyce Carol Oates, one of my all-time favorite authors; it’s dark and a little twisted, like much of her work, but brilliantly written.  Just finished listening to the audiobook “The Best American Short Stories 2020,” which got me through most of my recovery from surgery and inspired me to write a few short stories of my own.

·      Writing like mad and deriving a lot of pleasure from it… it’s as if I’ve finally grown wings and am starting to fly.  In addition to this blog, I’ve been writing short stories, which is something I never knew I had in me.  It’s incredible.

·      Watching a few things on Netflix (or other platforms… who can keep up with all of them), including “Halston” and the new “Gossip Girl.”  Have also seen a few very good films (mostly, but not exclusively independent), though I cannot remember the titles of all of them right now.

·      Eating well… mostly what Eric has made at home, though we’ve been out a few times recently as well—this morning, after my doctor’s appointment, for example, we tried a new (to us) breakfast place in Bixby Knolls called Bake ‘n Broil, which was decent; and Saturday we had linner at The Prospector (becoming one of our favorites) in Long Beach.

·      Working from home and will be for the next couple of weeks as I am still not cleared to drive.

·      Taking it kind of easy (for me) and trying not to feel guilty about it.

·      Celebrating having successfully navigated the process of legal changing my name and gender, and having more recently receive my updated social security card. 

·      Planning my next steps, but not with my usual rigor or focus; trying to let things unfold more organically and go with the flow a bit more, which, though not historically how I’ve operated, I’m finding I’m actually pretty good at.  

·      Trying to trust my instincts and live more intentionally in the moment.

 

All in all, life is good, and I am thankful for where and who I am, as well as whom I have close to me at this moment in time.

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