Folding In

The original title for this blog posting, which is about my re-entry into the world after a few quiet weeks at home recovering from neck surgery, was either going to be “Re-Entry” or “Getting Back Out There.”  But the latter option got me thinking about “Getting Back in There” as another possibility, which, for some reason, made think of the classic “fold it in” scene from one of my favorite television series, “Schitt’s Creek.”  In this scene, Moira and David are attempting to make Moira’s mother’s recipe for enchiladas, a key step for which is to “fold in the cheese.”  Of course, neither David nor Moira has a clue what this means and the exchange that ensues between them is nothing short of comic genius (in my humble opinion).

So, I went with “Folding In” as my title for this posting because it gave me the opportunity to reference a show I absolutely adore, and, more importantly, because the more I thought about it in the wee hours of the morning, the more I liked the analogy.  In cooking or baking, “folding” something in simply means gently combining one thing with another so that it becomes integrated or incorporated without losing its integrity.  The term is often used with whipped egg whites, which are very delicate and need to be handled carefully so as to retain most of the air that gives them their fluffy consistency.  

Yesterday was a sort of “folding” back in for me as it was my first time back on campus in about three weeks.  I only needed to be there for a few hours in the afternoon to meet with students in small groups to review and critique their simulated interactions with patients, which were recorded a couple weeks ago.  It was also really my first-time meeting and interacting with students like this and as myself.  I was nervous and anxious on the way in, but Eric helped to settle my nerves a bit during our commute (he was driving, as I have not yet been cleared to do so), and ultimately everything went just fine.  Actually, it was more than fine, and the experience reminded me of how much I have always really enjoyed teaching and interacting with students, and I’m happy to say that Madeline is a natural.

 

Afterward, Eric and I treated ourselves to a really nice dinner out at a restaurant called “Javier’s Cantina,” which is actually the first place we ever ate in Orange County, the night before my interview at Chapman for my current position.  That was back in February 2020, just before the pandemic took off in this country, and we haven’t had the opportunity to go back until last night.  Orange County can be a little scary as it’s generally fairly “red,” and Javier’s is in a relatively upscale outdoor shopping mall called the Spectrum Center, which is not exactly the environment we’ve come to know and love in Long Beach.  Nonetheless, we had a wonderful time, and I feel like the “folding in” we did there was a success.

Little by little, I am learning confidence and self-love.  I’m letting my inner glow shine through and just living and being myself, and it feels good.  It would have been easy for me to use this downtime as I recover from surgery as an excuse to retreat back into myself and hide away quietly at home.  In fact, I did a little bit of just that this past weekend as I licked my wounds after the face-waxing session I endured on Saturday morning (see "Hair, Part 3" post).  But that is no way to live life, especially when you’re married to an extrovert who loves nothing more than getting out in the world to experience new people, places, and things.  I just have to remember to “fold it in” every once in a while, because I deserve to know the world, and the world deserves to know me.