The Next BIG Step

This past week was a busy one, and even today I am working remotely to proctor an all-day exam via Zoom.  At work I attended a three-day workshop (virtual) focused on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) in pharmacy education.  It was certainly interesting and inspiring, but also shed light on the vast amount of work we have to do at Chapman in this area.  I also got a new professional head-shot done, so hopefully I’ll be able to replace the horrible picture of me that is currently on our websites (fingers crossed that the new one is a improvement… I’ve never been particularly photogenic).  

 The most exciting thing that happened for me this week was not at work at all, but a personal matter.  On Thursday January 20^th Eric and I met with Dr. Ng at the UCLA Medical Center in Burbank to discuss my gender affirmation surgery.  I made the appointment back in October, so I’ve been anticipating it for months.  It’s a big move.  Huge. And it was only about one year ago that I made the decision to move forward with my transition, so a lot has happened to get me to this point in a relatively short period of time.  On some level I can’t believe I’m already here, but on another level it’s something I’ve wanted (at times desperately) for decades, so this is very exciting indeed. 

 

I’m happy to report that the meeting with Dr. Ng went very well.  She’s a little awkward but competent and I think she’ll do a fine job. I had anticipated that there would be a considerable waitlist and that she wouldn’t be able to fit me in for months if not a year or more, but because I am opting for a much less invasive procedure (vaginoplasty without a canal), she will be able to get me on her calendar this spring (March or April).  Plus, the recovery time for my elected procedure is much less than I was expecting, and I will not need to do any hair removal “down there” in preparation.  I am thrilled with how fast this is happening and delighted that it will be minimally disruptive, especially for something that is so completely impactful and, for me, life-affirming. 

 

I am positively giddy at getting to this point in my transition and my life and am so optimistic for a future existence in which my physical self is better aligned with my mental, emotional, and spiritual self.  I know that my transition will not stop with surgery—I still have a lot of work to do and I am ready to do it—but it is nonetheless a huge, huge, huge step forward in the process.  In many ways it’s going to be like being reborn, not to be melodramatic, as my true, authentic self, which was my goal and mantra for 2022… “authenticity.”  

 

What a year it has been, and what a life I have left to live.  I’m so grateful to be where I am and ready to move forward as my authentic self.  Here’s a pic of me in Dr. Ng’s exam room, waiting for her to arrive.  I guess it’s hard to tell with the mask on that I am happy, but this was before she gave us the good news, so at this point I was still a little anxious and nervous (I was also not wearing anything below the waist, but had a robe draped over myself, ready for the big exam).  Here is also a pic of the place (Bottega Louie in West Hollywood) Eric and I went for lunch afterward to celebrate… we each had two glasses of champaign and toasted to the future.

Cheers!